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Flip a coin… If the head comes, I am yours, if tail comes then you are mine. Happy new year!

Wait for a second, there’s ANOTHER year? Have I to do it all over again?

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool. Have a fun-filled new year!

May this New Year bring actual change in you, not a recurrence of old habits in a new package!

Today at the gym I asked a girl what her new years’ resolution is, She said “F*** you” so I’m pretty excited for 2019.

I love when they drop the ball into Times Square. It’s a nice reminder of what I did all year.

We men want the same thing from women that we want from underwear. Some support and some freedom. Happy new year!

Don’t expect any new year’s Resolutions from me. I plan on staying the same awkward, sarcastic, Foul-mouthed delight, That you’ve all come to know and love!

May Your Hair, Your Teeth, Your Face-Lift, Your Abs And Your Stocks Not Fall; And May Your Blood Pressure, Your Triglycerides, Your Cholesterol, Your White Blood Count And Your Mortgage Interest Not Rise. Happy Healthy New Year 2019.

 

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Updated: November 10, 2018 — 9:49 am

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